Remy: ISIS Crisis (The Rap)

Remy solves the ISIS crisis (with a little help from the NFL.)

90 seconds.

Written and performed by Remy. Produced and animated by Meredith Bragg. Music tracks by Ben Karlstrom.

Scroll below for lyrics and visit http://reason.com/reasontv/2014/09/19/remy-the-isis-crisis for links, downloadable versions, and more.

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LYRICS:
These ideas so far are nothing to tout
and I don't mean to single anybody out
But we must pick a weapon to deal with this crisis
and it can't be "an elevator full of Ray Rices"

Well there's one bomb we have, causes mass blindness
The downside of which is it could blind the pilot
We'd need someone to drop it and turn quickly as well
Who could look the other way that quickly? Roger Goodell?

Look this isn't a game, they're brutal and brash
their business is booming, they're stockpiling cash
it's gotta be potent, it's gotta be big
and, no, it can't be "Adrian Peterson and a twig"

Well if crippling growth and freedom's the plan
this weapon here is the worst known to man
Obamacare, hmm, I have apprehension
Seems cruel, let me check the Geneva Convention

The debt would crush 'em sir, I assure you I know man
after all it is a weapons-grade entitlement program
Another plan, I tell you I'm into this
We come in from the north and we hit them with stimulus

No, something traditional, a bomber, a pilot
a--we get it, Neil, NFL players are violent
Like an EMP to destroy all their C: drives
Maybe we could send IRS' top IT guys

The terrorists there are killing their kin
We should ban guns there, they'll turn their guns in
They're not paying taxes, their growth is un-strained
Did you guys consider doing a hashtag campaign?

They're hitting oil, they're making a killing
we'd stop their growth if we could curb their drilling
Which weapon to do so? They all sound enticing
I say we, ah heck, let's just do the Ray Rice thing